understanding you and becoming self

today was a very deep lesson. I explored the three phases of time which is the past ,present and the future. why is it that time is always negative or that negativity is the most influential part of our lives? Thinking about something good in the past always turns into something horrible for me ,does that happen to anyone else? Growing up it seems that Mr.Trapani's mother and my grandmother were very similar, tough women but i think she blamed herself for my mom not being a "normal" person. i just knew that she loved me because my grandmother always fought for me she would go against the president for me but then turn around and try to fight me too. I also realized about my childhood that some much was going on i was pushed to the back burner because everyone had there own problems or lives and maybe that's why i'm not so expressive at first. When people have a mental illness and you can read about, it takes a lot of time and energy when they relapse so there were times when i was up late nights because the only person that my mother would listen to was me but i was a little kid. i want in my future to change people's stereotypes of a person with mental illness, it doesn't have to be a person with drool hanging from there mouth, it can be someone you never expected. i don't want people to be afraid of them either like they are not people. That's what i want my goal to be in twenty years. I also learned a lot about my YOU while he was talking about the you and the self. I learned that right now i am definitely living in the YOU but i do actively try to bring out my self. The pain of my childhood still haunts me and yes i admit i carry all of my past like that chair and that bag Trapani demonstrated today.